Letter written by a wife after her husband’s death in an accident

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Very long read but very informative. Pls read n share

Letter written by a wife after her husband’s death in an accident

“Few things I learnt after my husband’s death:-

We always believe we will live forever. Bad things always happen to others.

Only when things hit us bang on your head you realise… Life is so unpredictable….

My husband was an IT guy.AllTechnical. AndI am a chartered accountant.
Awesome combination you may think.

Techie guy so everything is on his laptop.His to do list. His e-bill and his bank statements in his email. He even maintained a folder which said IMPWDS wherein he stored all login id and passwords for all his online accounts.And even his laptop had a password. Techie guy so all the passwords were alpha-numeric with a special character not an easy one to crack.Office policy said passwords needed to be changed every 30 days.So every time I accessed his laptop I wouldrealizeit’s a new password again. I would simply opt for asking him ‘What’s the latest password’ instead of taking the strain tomemorizeit.

You may think me being a Chartered Accountant would means everything is documented and filed properly. Alas many of my chartered accountant friends would agree that the precision we follow with our office documents and papers do not flow in to day to day home life. At office you have be epitome of Reliability / Competent / Diligent etc but. At home front there is always a tomorrow.

One fine morning my hubby expired in a bike accident on his way home from office.. He was just 33.His laptop with all his data crashed.everything on his hard disk wiped off.No folder of IMPWDS to refer back to.His mobile with all the numbers on it was smashed.But that was just the beginning. I realised I had lot to learn.

9 years married to one of the best human beings.with no kids.just the two of us to fall back on.but now I stood all alone and lost.

Being chartered accountant helped in more ways than one but it was not enough. I needed help.His saving bank accounts, his salary bank accounts had no nominee.On his insurance his mom was the nominee and it was almost 2 years back she had expired. But this was just a start.I didn’t know the password to his email account where all his e-bill came.I didn’t know which expenses he paid by standing instructions.

His office front too was not easy. His department had changed recently.I didn’t know his reporting boss name to start with.when had he last claimed his shift allowance, his mobile reimbursement.

The house we bought with all the excitement on a loan thought with our joint salary we could afford the EMI. when the home loans guys suggested insurance on the loan.we decided the instead of paying the premium the difference in the EMI on account of the insurance could be used pay towards prepayment of the loan and get the tenure down.We never thought what we would do if we have to live on a single salary.So now there was huge EMI to look into .

I realised I was in for a long haul.

Road accident case. So everywhere I needed a Death certificate, FIR report, Post Mortem report. For everything there were forms running into pages.indemnity bonds.notary.surety to stand up for you.No objections certificates from your co-heirs.

I learnt other than your house, your land, Your car, your bike are also your property.So what if you are the joint owner of the flat.you don’t become the owner just because your hubby is no more. So what if your hubby expired in the bike accident and you are the nominee but if the bike is in a repairable condition .you have to get the bike transferred in your name to claim the insurance.And that was again not easy. The bike or car cannot be transferred in your name without going through a set of legal documents. Getting a Succession Certificate is another battle all together.

Then came the time you realise now you have to start changing all the bills, assets in your name.Your gas connection, electricity meter, your own house, your car, your investments and all sundries. And then change all the nominations where your own investments are concerned.And again a start of a new set of paperwork.

To say I was shaken.my whole life had just turned upside down was an understatement.You realise you don’t have time to morn and grieve for the person with whom you spend the best years of your life. Because you are busy sorting all the paper work.

I realised then how much I took life for granted.I thought being a chartered accountant I am undergoing so many difficulties.what would have happened to someone who was house maker who wouldn’t understand this legal hotchpotch.

A sweet friend then told me dear this was not an end.you have no kids.your assets will be for all who stand to claim.after my hubby’s sudden death.I realised it was time I took life more seriously. I now needed to make a Will. I would have laughed if a few months back if he had asked me to make one.But now life had taken a twist.

Lessons learnt this hard way were meant to be shared.After all why should the people whom we love the most suffer after we are no more.Sorting some paperwork before we go will at least ease some of their grief.

1. Check all your nominations…
It’s a usual practice to put a name (i.e in the first place if you have mentioned it) and royally forget about it. Most of us have named our parent as a nominee for investments, bank accounts opened before marriage. We have not changed the same even years after they are no longer there with us. Even your salary account usually has no nomination.. Kindly check all your Nominations.

– Bank Accounts
– Fixed Deposits, NSC
– Bank Lockers
– Demat Accounts
– Insurance (Life, Bike or Car or Property)
– Investments
– PF Pension Forms

2. Passwords..
We have passwords for practically everything. Email accounts, Bank accounts, even for the laptop you use. What happens when your next in kin cannot access any of these simply because they do not know your password… Put it down on a paper.

3. Investments.
Every year for tax purpose we do investments. Do we maintain a excel sheet about it. If so is it on the same laptop of which the password you had not shared. Where are those physical investments hard copy.

4. Will.
Make a Will. I know you will smile even I would.had I not gone through all what I did.It would have made my life lot easier.a lot less paperwork.I wouldn’t had to provide an indemnity bond, get it notarised, ask surety to stand up, no objections certificates from others…

5. Liabilities.
When you take a loan say for your house or car.Check out on all the what ifs.what if I am not there tomorrow.what if I loose my job.Will the EMI still be within my range.If not get an insurance on the loan.The people left behind will not have to worry on something as basic as their own house.

My battles have just begun…But let us at least try and make few changes so that our loved ones would not suffer after we go.We do not know what will happen in the future.But as the Scout motto goes: Be prepared ”

NEVER TAKE LIFE FOR GRANTED DO THINGS APPROPRIATE FOR THE ONES WHO DEPEND ON YOU WITH LOVE.
NOTE: THIS IS A REAL INCIDENT AND NOT JUST A FORWARD…..

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Wow. This one cuts deep.

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One young man went to apply for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the initial interview, and now would meet the director for the final interview.

The director discovered from his CV that the youth’s academic achievements were excellent. He asked, “Did you obtain any scholarships in school?” the youth answered “no”.

” Was it your father who paid for your school fees?”

“My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.” he replied.

” Where did your mother work?”

“My mother worked as clothes cleaner.”

The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

” Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?”

“Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Besides, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.

The director said, “I have a request. When you go home today, go and clean your mother’s hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back home, he asked his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to her son.

The youth cleaned his mother’s hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother’s hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother winced when he touched it.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fees. The bruises in the mother’s hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his education, his school activities and his future.

After cleaning his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director’s office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth’s eyes, when he asked: “Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?”

The youth answered,” I cleaned my mother’s hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes’

“I know now what appreciation is. Without my mother, I would not be who I am today. By helping my mother, only now do I realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done on your own. And I have come to appreciate the importance and value of helping one’s family.

The director said, “This is what I am looking for in a manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life.”

“You are hired.”

This young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and worked as a team. The company’s performance improved tremendously.

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop an “entitlement mentality” and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent’s efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good academically, they may be successful for a while, but eventually they would not feel a sense of achievement. They will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying our children instead?

You can let your child live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch on a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your child learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

Try to forward this story to as many as possible…this may change somebody’s fate.

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Worlds Best 7 Sentences

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Shakespeare

“Never Play With The Feelings Of Others Because you May Win The Game But The Risk Is That you Will Surely Lose The Person For Life Time.”

Napoleon

“The world suffers a lot. Not because of the violence of bad people, But because of the silence of good people.”

Einstein

“I am thankful to all those who said NO to me It’s because of them I did it myself.”

Abraham Lincoln

“If friendship is your weakest point then, You are the strongest person in the world.”

Shakespeare

“Laughing Faces Do Not Mean That There Is Absence Of Sorrow! But It Means That They Have The Ability To Deal With It.”

William Arthur

“Opportunities Are Like Sunrises, If You Wait Too Long You Can Miss Them.”

Hitler

“When You Are In The Light, Everything Follows You, But When You Enter Into The Dark, Even Your Own Shadow Doesn’t Follow You.”

Shakespeare

“Coin Always Makes Noise But The Currency Notes Are Always Silent. So When Your Value Increases Keep Quiet.”

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An Office Boy……

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A jobless man applied for the position of ‘office boy’ at a very big company.

The employer interviewed him, then a test: clean the floor.

“You are hired.” – the employer said. ”Give me your email address, and I’ll send you the application to fill, as well as when you will start.”

The man replied, “I don’t have a computer, neither an email.”

“I’m sorry,” said the employer, “if you don’t have an email that means you do not exist. And who doesn’t exist, cannot have the job.”

The man left with no hope. He didn’t know what to do, with only $10 USD in his pocket.

He then decided to go to the supermarket, bought a 10kg tomato crate, then sold the tomatoes door to door. In less than two hours, he succeeded and doubled his capital.

He repeated the operation 3 times and returned home with $60 USD. The man realized that he could survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and returned late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday. Shortly later, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

Five years later, the man’s company was one of the biggest food retailers. He started to plan his family’s future, and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied: “I don’t have an email.”

The broker replied curiously, “You don’t have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Do you imagine what you could have done if you had an email?”

The man paused for a while, and replied: “An office boy!”

Don’t be discouraged if something is not in your favor today. Better opportunities are waiting ahead.

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